When We Can't Hear Jesus

What amazes me most about my daughter's prayer life, is the fact that she doesn't just pray about boo boo's and owies. Her 4 year old brain grasps God's power in all things. She will pray for her daddy at his new job, her uncle who is trying to find a job, and any other person she knows needs to be touched by God. Also what is so incredible is her immediateness in it. If she knows you are sick or hurt, she will pray right then and there. At night before bed, she will also remember the day's conversations around her and bring her requests and thanks to God without any prompting from her daddy or me. So when she started to not want to pray before nap time or bed, I thought it was more of a phase than anything. But now I think I realize why it is an issue sometimes.

It is funny how God works in your life. His Word is alive and speaks to me in so many ways. Our pastor, Jeff, has been doing a sermon series on prayer this month and I have also recently started back to CBS (Community Bible Study) where we are studying Acts this year. Here's how it all fits together...

Recently, when we were driving home from lunch with Greg, all of a sudden I heard quiet sobs coming from the back seat of the car. I hadn't heard any movement for a few minutes, so I knew that Levi hadn't hit Cali, or she hadn't hit him (which is usually why someone would be crying in the back seat). When I looked in the mirror I saw Cali sobbing and looking extremely distraught. When I asked what was wrong, she said something through her sobs that I could barely make out. "I can't hear Jesus," she said. I was a little confused and asked her again what was wrong. "I can't hear Jesus," she said again, louder.

Thump! My heart sank as I finally understood her sorrow. I probed a little more and she continued to open her heart. "I can't hear Jesus when I pray. I want to hear his voice," she explained. How do you explain THAT to a 4 year old? I began telling her that she would hear him one day in heaven and then she cried even louder. "How will we get there?" she asked. "Well, when you die..." I began to explain. After discussing this, she continued to ask how we got there. It is in the sky, and there are no ladders. After a couple chuckles we continued our conversation about heaven, talking to God, and being with Him. She had finally calmed down, but asked again how to hear Jesus when she prayed. Ugh, I thought we had bypassed that question, but here we were back to her original concern.

After thinking about it I had come to this simple explanation. "Do you make good choices?" I asked her. "Sometimes," she answered. I had to laugh at that answer. "Do you know the difference between good and bad choices?" I asked. She said yes and I knew we were getting somewhere. I explained that the feeling we get telling us to make a good choice is God talking to us. We "hear" Him through our heart and mind. After a few more minutes about faith and knowing and believing He is there, with us, talking to us, she seemed to be satisfied.

Funny how God brings things to light after a while. After thinking more about prayer this past weekend, I was reminded about this conversation that I had had with Cali weeks ago. I realized that when she sometimes doesn't want to pray, it very well could be because she can't hear Jesus talking back to her. Not a very unrealistic response, is it? I bet most of us have had that feeling/response to God throughout our walks with Him. We can't audibly hear His voice, and after time we begin to stop talking to Him, because it seems as if we are having a one sided conversation. What's the point?

Which brings me to Acts. Amazing how God's Word can speak to situations you are going through at just the right times. The book of Acts is all about the work of the Holy Spirit. When we come to know Christ, we are filled with the Holy Spirit. Did you know that the Holy Spirit SPEAKS to us? John 14:26 says that "the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you." We may not audibly hear Jesus' voice, but we can be sure of one thing. That once we "repent and are baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of our sins" we will "receive the gift of the Holy Spirit." (Acts 2:38) How awesome that we have God's voice living and breathing in us! What an encouragement to know that my prayers ARE heard and that he DOES speak back to me. Maybe I need to just take the time to sit and listen for His voice. That is something I rarely do.

Now, if I could only explain all of that to my 4 year old. But then again, with her child-like faith and desire to keep praying (even though she doesn't "hear" Jesus), I bet she actually may just get it after all.

Our First Prayer

There is something about seeing your baby for the very first time. I'm not talking about at birth, when they enter this world and change your life forever. I'm talking about even before then, halfway into your pregnancy, when the pictures from your ultrasound show you a fully formed little child that is resting in your belly.

Above is my favorite picture of Cali from before I had even met her. When I saw this picture, my first thought was, she's praying! This image has always been dear to my heart, and as I've watched my daughter grow, this image means more to me than I could ever have imagined.

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made," Psalm 139:13-14.

As I have watched my daughter grow into her child-like faith, I believe that God had fearfully and wonderfully made her in my womb and that picture represents her as such. She is my prayer warrior. Her undeniable trust in God, that He will heal and protect us when she asks, is a testimony that He has created us to have an intimate relationship with Him. He has desired that of us since we were in the womb. He knew us before we were created (Jeremiah 1:5) and His desire to be with us is from an unconditional and eternal love. My daughter spends her days reaching out to Him, not just in the biggest concerns, but even in the smallest, minutest details, that I seem to overlook daily. She shows me why I need to work on my prayer life. She is my encouragement to strengthen my relationship with God. She is why I am beginning this blog. She is why I want to share with you our Conversations With God.