Ever since Cali has invited Jesus into her heart, one question has been plaguing her... "will I still go to Heaven?" Last night Greg and I went upstairs to put her to bed and found her hiding in the bonus room, crying. After coaxing her out of her safe spot, she looked at us and said, I was just asking God for forgiveness. I was so proud of her and the fact that she did this on her own. You see, the last few weeks have been some of deep thought and conversation in our household. I know I haven't written much here lately, but I'll try to lay out some of the coolest stuff I've ever witnessed as a parent...
When Cali began Kindergarten she received a devotion Bible from church. Greg had recently begun to do these devos with her at night before bed. One night, as he was putting Levi to bed, I had the privilege of walking her through Day 8. The topic was about living with Christ in your heart and the eternal life you receive when we believe in Him. As we began to talk about that she began to tear up and get sad. I asked her why she was upset and she told me that she didn't know if Jesus was in her heart. I asked her why that made her sad and she said, "because He's my best friend and I want to go to Heaven." Some deep thoughts for a 5 year old. I was witnessing her begin the purest and simplest connection to the Gospel and I knew that she understood it. Greg came down and we were able to lead our daughter in inviting Jesus into her heart. What an exciting moment, one I will never forget!
A few days later as I was tucking her into bed, she looked at me and with sorrow in her eyes said, "mommy, I made 2 bad choices since I invited Jesus into my heart." I asked her what she did and she talked about being mean to Levi. I giggled inside and then proceeded to explain to her that even though Jesus is in our hearts, we are not perfect because He is the only one who is. And the awesome part about having Jesus in your heart was the fact that when we make bad choices (sin) we can ask Him for forgiveness and He forgives us. But the coolest part is that He forgets it too! So it is like we never sinned. We got to discuss what that meant and how that happened (because Christ died on the cross so we didn't have to) and then she prayed for forgiveness.
Which leads me to last night... she knew she had sinned and then asked for forgiveness. But the most enlightening part to me about all that was her question to me after she said she had just been praying. She asked me through tears, "will I still go to Heaven?" She has been plagued with the thought that even though she asked Jesus into her heart, when she continues to make bad choices, she may not be saved. We talked about the fact that He never leaves us once He's there and that even though we still make bad choices, He will forgive us when we ask.
For me, the biggest impression that Cali has made in my life is the fact that her relationship with Christ is so real and so deep to her that when she sins, she is devastated. It breaks her heart to hurt Christ that way. Why don't I feel that way? When I sin, most of the time I don't even acknowledge it to Christ, nor do I allow Him the ability to forgive me the way He so desires. I long to have that childlike faith. To be so close to Him, to hear His voice of conviction when I hurt Him, to speak to Him with humble words saying, "Jesus, please forgive me," and to feel that release of sin that frees me to be close to Him again.
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
The Physical vs. Eternal Life
After struggling the past three months to put into words all that God has placed on my heart, I have come to the conclusion that what I write here does not have to be perfectly written or even make sense. I write to share our many household conversations with and about God.
Lately I've had many conversations with God about what is happening in our country. As I dwell on the things I read on Facebook and Twitter, or even those I see on the news in the evenings, I feel more and more anxious and angry about what is happening around me. I lose sleep at night wondering how I can stop the injustices and the, I'll just say it, evil that occurs daily in our country, states and even cities. Tonight was one of those nights. After reading a post on Facebook of a political nature I sat here and wanted to scream. My heart starts to beat so fast and I can't stop my head from trying to grapple the person's point. I know many people probably say the same thing about me and my "political" beliefs, but my beliefs stem from my faith. And there is no way to separate my beliefs from my faith.
Luckily, because I knew if I went to bed I'd toss and turn for hours, as I was searching on the computer for something to take my mind off of what I read, I stumbled across a dear friend's blog and began reading her newest post from today. Here she writes about her family's journey in adopting a little girl from Ethiopia.
Yesterday they travelled over 13.5 hours and this morning got to actually meet their sweet little girl. Just reading about her day and her thoughts about this journey so far brought me to tears. One of their prayer requests is that Satan be bound because he does not want her to be adopted into a Christ following family. What a thought. Here I am so pumped up about a stupid political jab toward those believing like me, and at the same time my dear friend is across the world meeting a little girl that she could bring home in 2 months to raise freely in a Christian home, with biblical values and teaching. Praise the Lord for that opportunity.
So often I feel like I am being ridiculed and persecuted for my Christian faith and beliefs, and yet I truly do not know what it is to be persecuted. A political jab here or there, a new law or bill that comes into effect, or even my own guilt if I am not being "politically correct" in acceptance over an issue. All of those are so superficial and yet I get fired up and can't sleep at night because I feel set apart from those around me who may believe differently. Heaven forbid I truly face deep persecution. What would my stance be in that instance?
We are so wrapped up in our American bubble that we forget, or sometimes do not even know, about those that live only 13.5 hours away. Those people who are truly facing persecution, even to death, for their Christian faiths and beliefs. Hundreds of thousands of people are fighting for their physical lives because they have saved their eternal one.
Scripture does not promise an easy life as a Christian. It actually promises persecution. As I've studied Paul's life this year I am reminded of what it truly means to be in the world and not of it. Jesus says in Acts 9:15-16 that "he (Paul) is a chosen instrument of mine to carry my name before the Gentiles and kings and the children of Israel. For I will show him how MUCH HE MUST SUFFER FOR THE SAKE OF MY NAME." And Paul surely did... imprisonment, forty lashes less one, beaten with rods, stoned, shipwrecked, robbed, mobbed, sleepless nights, hunger, thirst, cold, nakedness, pressure from believers and non-believers alike (2 Cor. 11) until he was finally put to death. And yet through all of it, he continued the race to spread the Word of God throughout the land. So often I sit back in my comfortable life and think how lucky we are that those persecutions are not occurring today. But yet in reality, they happen every day, and only a plane ride away.
So should I fear what is happening here in this country? I believe yes and no. I should do my best to learn what is happening here around me so that I can be prayerful and strong in my faith to combat the workings of Satan here in our own powerful country. But I also need to be thankful for my comfortable home and life and remember to pray for those only a puddle jump away who are running in fear for their lives, yet like Paul, not giving up in the hope of an eternity with a God who loves them and has called them to be instruments for him. I can only hope to know the courage and passion for the Lord that those faithful followers hold onto every day.
One last thought...
Many a time before having children I had the thought that I didn't want to bring them into this world. The ugliness, hurt and pain that they might come across in their life, why would I do that to them? But I'm so thankful I did. Because deep down I believe that God will call them to be His instruments in this world to carry His name before the Gentiles, kings and children of Israel. And as much as it pains me to know that persecution is promised to those who follow after Him, the fact they will live eternally with Him if they choose to know Him overflows my heart with joy. And it is with that joy that I will be able to sleep peacefully tonight.
Lately I've had many conversations with God about what is happening in our country. As I dwell on the things I read on Facebook and Twitter, or even those I see on the news in the evenings, I feel more and more anxious and angry about what is happening around me. I lose sleep at night wondering how I can stop the injustices and the, I'll just say it, evil that occurs daily in our country, states and even cities. Tonight was one of those nights. After reading a post on Facebook of a political nature I sat here and wanted to scream. My heart starts to beat so fast and I can't stop my head from trying to grapple the person's point. I know many people probably say the same thing about me and my "political" beliefs, but my beliefs stem from my faith. And there is no way to separate my beliefs from my faith.
Luckily, because I knew if I went to bed I'd toss and turn for hours, as I was searching on the computer for something to take my mind off of what I read, I stumbled across a dear friend's blog and began reading her newest post from today. Here she writes about her family's journey in adopting a little girl from Ethiopia.
Yesterday they travelled over 13.5 hours and this morning got to actually meet their sweet little girl. Just reading about her day and her thoughts about this journey so far brought me to tears. One of their prayer requests is that Satan be bound because he does not want her to be adopted into a Christ following family. What a thought. Here I am so pumped up about a stupid political jab toward those believing like me, and at the same time my dear friend is across the world meeting a little girl that she could bring home in 2 months to raise freely in a Christian home, with biblical values and teaching. Praise the Lord for that opportunity.
So often I feel like I am being ridiculed and persecuted for my Christian faith and beliefs, and yet I truly do not know what it is to be persecuted. A political jab here or there, a new law or bill that comes into effect, or even my own guilt if I am not being "politically correct" in acceptance over an issue. All of those are so superficial and yet I get fired up and can't sleep at night because I feel set apart from those around me who may believe differently. Heaven forbid I truly face deep persecution. What would my stance be in that instance?
We are so wrapped up in our American bubble that we forget, or sometimes do not even know, about those that live only 13.5 hours away. Those people who are truly facing persecution, even to death, for their Christian faiths and beliefs. Hundreds of thousands of people are fighting for their physical lives because they have saved their eternal one.
Scripture does not promise an easy life as a Christian. It actually promises persecution. As I've studied Paul's life this year I am reminded of what it truly means to be in the world and not of it. Jesus says in Acts 9:15-16 that "he (Paul) is a chosen instrument of mine to carry my name before the Gentiles and kings and the children of Israel. For I will show him how MUCH HE MUST SUFFER FOR THE SAKE OF MY NAME." And Paul surely did... imprisonment, forty lashes less one, beaten with rods, stoned, shipwrecked, robbed, mobbed, sleepless nights, hunger, thirst, cold, nakedness, pressure from believers and non-believers alike (2 Cor. 11) until he was finally put to death. And yet through all of it, he continued the race to spread the Word of God throughout the land. So often I sit back in my comfortable life and think how lucky we are that those persecutions are not occurring today. But yet in reality, they happen every day, and only a plane ride away.
So should I fear what is happening here in this country? I believe yes and no. I should do my best to learn what is happening here around me so that I can be prayerful and strong in my faith to combat the workings of Satan here in our own powerful country. But I also need to be thankful for my comfortable home and life and remember to pray for those only a puddle jump away who are running in fear for their lives, yet like Paul, not giving up in the hope of an eternity with a God who loves them and has called them to be instruments for him. I can only hope to know the courage and passion for the Lord that those faithful followers hold onto every day.
One last thought...
Many a time before having children I had the thought that I didn't want to bring them into this world. The ugliness, hurt and pain that they might come across in their life, why would I do that to them? But I'm so thankful I did. Because deep down I believe that God will call them to be His instruments in this world to carry His name before the Gentiles, kings and children of Israel. And as much as it pains me to know that persecution is promised to those who follow after Him, the fact they will live eternally with Him if they choose to know Him overflows my heart with joy. And it is with that joy that I will be able to sleep peacefully tonight.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Are You a Product of Your Environment?
After spending the holidays with my family I came home realizing something... that I am very much like my mom and dad. Is that good or bad, you might ask? Well, I guess that depends on if you like my mom and dad. All I know is that as I've grown older, I see that much of who I've become is a product of the environment I grew up in. Luckily, that environment was a happy, loving and safe one. But now that I am grown and reflect on where I've come from, I realize that the environment I create here at home is where my very own children will become products of their environment.
As I begin this new year, 2012, God has put it on my heart to create a home environment that is fully created with God's love and provision, stability and safety. I pray my children will know God and seek a relationship with Him. I pray that they feel loved and cared for and safe in our home. I pray that Greg and I can be uplifting and sensitive to each other and our children. As we create and live in a Godly environment, I know that not only my children, but my husband and I, will all become products of our environment. May God bless you this New Year and may you reflect on your environment and how to create one that you desire to be a product of.
As I begin this new year, 2012, God has put it on my heart to create a home environment that is fully created with God's love and provision, stability and safety. I pray my children will know God and seek a relationship with Him. I pray that they feel loved and cared for and safe in our home. I pray that Greg and I can be uplifting and sensitive to each other and our children. As we create and live in a Godly environment, I know that not only my children, but my husband and I, will all become products of our environment. May God bless you this New Year and may you reflect on your environment and how to create one that you desire to be a product of.